22 Comments
Sep 29Liked by Miranda W

P.s. I totally get the physical pain with ageing though. I seriously worry about my back pain but at the same time cannot somehow do my stretching daily—even though I know it will help. The ageing mind however is triumphant and very much feel I am my healthiest as I age in this capacity—-more comfortable and confident in my own skin, in my choices and my wants and desires.

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Dear Miranda, Thank you so much for linking and sharing Waling on Plums, it was a wonderful and unexpected pleasure after a busy day and so very appreciated.

So much of what you say - I listened while ironing - resonated. I am furious with my body at the moment! It just doesn't behave as it used to and I'm trying - read mostly failing - to adapt, even though I know I have to. I too have various problems that won't go away. I refuse to imagine a life without walking, it is the one and only time I have for me, without noise or people or chores and lists. It is my one time each day for just breathing and being and clearing away the tangled cobwebs - I feel every second of your frustration!

Ageing is hard to accept, but sadly we have to; I don't know the answer, whether to concede gracefully or party till we drop but I do know that life is very short, we none of us know the number of our days, as such I say, make the best we can of every single second and if it hurts, at least we know we are still alive!

With love and an exhausted hug xx

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Oh I do love you, Susie. I can’t help but compare myself with those super-human yoga ninjas who, at ninety years old, are still able to contort and flex themselves into a pretzel and hold a plank for an hour at a time. I guess, if I’d devoted my life to that level of yogic practice, I’d be similarly lithe and flexible—forty years from now.

I don’t know if I’m ready to adapt. Or at least, not adapt in the sense of accepting. I want to still have the energy to do things I did without thought only a couple of years ago. I know things change, but are they really meant to change so rapidly? Maybe they are and it’s just that no one ever talks about it. Honestly, it’s taken me by surprise.

Maybe I need to find a way to apply a level of moderation to my attempts to stop to rot. Instead of exercising to the point of exhaustion, I need to build up gradually and combine flexibility and strength work with my regular walks and practical work. But I’ve never been very good at moderation. Or consistency.

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Someone, a friend older than both of us, sent me this just yesterday, I don't know how true it is but it gave me pause for thought and I love that it might be!

"AGE IS NOT IN YOUR DNA

Aging is a program of mind control. It is a lie that people die of old age because there is no "age" for our DNA in cells.

The cells in our bodies are constantly renewing themselves, even in older people.

There are many errors in cell reproduction, but there is always a biological-emotional reason for our death.

It is not so easy for a person to die until the heart and lungs stop working.

People don't die of old age or disease, people die of their emotional conflicts that have led to this aging and later death.

There is no age for our DNA, we create boundaries with the years our bodies die.

Aging comes from negative thinking and a low vibrational state of dominance.

If we do not have the limited belief that it is normal to grow old, we will not grow old, or at least not at such a rate that aging is "normal".

This is because

- our skin regenerates every 3 months

- blood every 6 months

- the lungs are renewed every year

- the liver heals in 18 months

- the brain completely renews its cells every 3 years

- the skeleton regenerates completely in 10 years

- every muscle and tissue regenerates in 15 years

- even our personality renews itself every 7 years

We have to ensure our regeneration by all means - food, air, water that we bring and above all thoughts and information about ourselves.

A secret that has been carefully kept from us is that our DNA contains no data about our ageing.

The aging program is created solely by us in our minds, through our beliefs and convictions gained in the environment we were born, raised and live in.

We are so ingrained to believe that this is a normal way to live, age and die.

Fortunately, the reality for us is quite different. It's no secret that when we are lost in the past, we are always looking to the future.

And it's actually important to leave the past behind and move forward, live and change the present in your mind."

I will be keeping this in mind the next time I feel old and exhausted! xx

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Sep 29Liked by Miranda W

Miranda, this was a stunning read. I felt like I was walking right beside you and in your head. When you talked about the winter trees I really resonated. Somehow the dead of winter always inspired my art when I lived in the uk. It always enabled me to tap in that little bit deeper. Sometimes causing the same depressive state you speak about. Haha the lemon cake sounds like a just reward to me, but then again I would give in to this pleasure any day without the physical exhaustion 😘😘😘

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I'll make any excuse for lemon cake. That winter depression/inspiration alternating state is something I recognise too. I find the balance tips more toward inspiration since we left London and moved to a house that's basically a greenhouse. Even on a dull day, we're fortunate to have good light. But I still notice a vast difference in my mood on sunny and rainy days.

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This is beautiful, Miranda. My body and capabilities have changed as I've aged, though unlike you, I never really crave walking or much physical activity at all...something that needs to change ASAP, because that is part of what causes me pain. I'm thinking swimming, at least for the time-being. Love your meditation on your process. And, oh boy, lemon cake!

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The lemon cake was damn good.

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Sep 29·edited Sep 29Liked by Miranda W

I love citrus desserts. Lemon curd, key lime pie, lemon squares. The best!

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Me too! Anything citrus. YUM. Another thing we have in common!

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Yep!

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Wonderful read but I’m worrying about your feet. That is very dull. Very much agree that ‘solvitur ambulando’

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I agree. Feet are a very, very dull subject. Not one I particularly want to return to as a regular theme. But they are very useful things--and when they're not working properly it makes a lot of stuff very difficult.

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Once again, Miranda, so much of what you've captured here speaks to my own experience and heart. I am also an avid walker who starts to get a little stir crazy if I can't get outside and move on a daily basis. I don't always have access to walks as picturesque as those you describe, but I can always find some bit of beauty and even magic in what, to others, might seem the most mundane of walks. During the week, I tend to get out for at least an hour (and sometimes much more) because of my "accidental dog walker" side hustle. (Long-ish story) Like the postal service, I'm out in all kinds of weather because dogs gotta do what dogs gotta do. But, I also treasure my solitary walks (usually at the end of the day) and walks in the company of my beau (who enjoys walking even more than me).

Over the past few years, I've had to deal with a reoccurring hip pain that has - at times - almost immobilized me. This is another long story, the ending of which is that the majority of the very real pain I experience is actually neuro-plastic pain, which means that it's caused by stress and emotional triggers rather than any structural damage or injury. It's a wild phenomenon that is only just now beginning to be understood, even though one intrepid doctor began studying it back in the 80s (and was, unsurprisingly, more or less excommunicated from the medical field for his troubles).

ANYway - all that to say that I SO understand the anxiety and frustration that comes from being unable to do the walking that is so integral to your mental and physical health, creativity, and general well being. I love that you're sharing this here, even if it's uncomfortable. You've clearly touched a nerve with others who have similar experiences and concerns.

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Did your hip pain resolve once you had that information? You talk of it in the past tense so I hope that it's now an ex-problem.

When we still lived in suburban London, my partner and I used to joke about "finding the beauty" and "being grateful" for whatever we came across. She isn't a great walker but I used to send her a list of wonderful and surprising things I'd come across on my walks. Like the mattresses dumped in the local allotments, or the broken toilet someone had left outside their front gate to await pickup by the council, etc. It made us giggle at least. But I'm genuinely grateful now to be somewhere where I can easily walk along the seafront or inland through a country park and woodland.

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Beautiful and full of heart and thoughts as always Miranda. Thank you for this reminder that nothing lasts forever, I assume things about my body and its ability to keep going unchanging, which are of course, untrue… but for a long time, I have been determined that I will keep walking and take whatever support my body needs until the walking turns into rolling.. when I will be there leaning on a stick, or on my zimmer, or in my wheelchair, being outside and moving in some way, in country air ✨💛

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I didn't even realise I was making this assumption until very recently. (I guess that's what makes it an assumption, eh.) But I was so bloomin' smug in my assumption that I could just keep going forever. Now, long-held assumption and new reality collide. And my primary response is just feeling majorly pissed off. Secondary response is a little more measured--yes, I'll keep getting out in some form, but I'm not ready to give up on being able to do that on my own feet!

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What a beautiful piece, Miranda. You are on fire! Xx

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Thank you, Christina. ❤️

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Oh I so enjoyed reading this Miranda, thank you so much for the mention, much appreciated, I'm glad you enjoyed it! X

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I loved your piece, Cat. I recognised so much of what you said—and it was beautifully written—and narrated.

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Thank you, that means a lot! ❤️

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